Cody Cook-Parrott — writer, artist, and author of The Practice of Attention: Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World — joins Dr. Dan to explore what happens when we reclaim our focus from technology, perfectionism, and fear. Drawing from nearly 15 years of sobriety, lived experience with ADHD, creative practice, and stepping away from social media, Cody shares how attention is not just about productivity — it's about presence, integrity, and self-trust. This conversation explores the parallels between substance addiction and our relationship with social media, why the system is working exactly as designed, and how attention shapes not just what we see but who we become. From the "attention audit" to "swallowing the frog," from acceptance and surrender to anti-perfectionism as a core practice, this episode challenges us to reclaim our time and focus so life feels like it belongs to us again.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
Why attention is your life force — every scroll, click, and "quick check" adds up; an attention audit shows where it goes
How the system is working as designed — social platforms are built to keep us hooked; awareness is powerful, shame unnecessary
Why avoidance fuels anxiety — small action dissolves it (swallow the frog: do the uncomfortable thing first, imperfectly)
How surrender is not passive — it's presence (acceptance and surrender create space for clarity and unexpected possibility)
Why anti-perfectionism matters — perfectionism often disguises itself as productivity but is frequently just fear
What abstinence vs harm reduction means — understanding different approaches to technology use and recovery
How "I will not abandon myself" becomes a practice — refusing to override rest, chase urgency, or perform visibility
LEARN MORE
Get new episodes every Thursday
March 5, 2026
Cody Cook-Parrott
The Practice of Attention: Reclaiming Presence in a Distracted World
"I will not abandon myself in the rush to be productive, visible, or acceptable."
TIMESTAMPS
00:02:43 – Addiction and recovery: Parallels between alcohol sobriety and social media use
00:06:31 – The artist's relationship to attention: Why creatives are leading this conversation
00:13:45 – The system is working as designed: How platforms engineer engagement
00:27:42 – Fear, avoidance, and perfectionism: Anti-perfectionism as a core practice
00:31:45 – Labels and empowerment: ADHD, addiction, and language that serves us
00:35:56 – The attention audit: Where does your time actually go?
00:41:11 – Acceptance and surrender: Active choices that create clarity and space
00:47:11 – How we relate to the world: Attention as relationship, not just focus
00:50:04 – "I will not abandon myself": Refusing urgency over importance
SHOW NOTES
Dr. Dan sits down with Cody Cook-Parrott, author of The Practice of Attention: Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World, to explore what happens when we reclaim our focus from technology, perfectionism, and fear.
Drawing from nearly 15 years of sobriety, lived experience with ADHD, creative practice, and stepping away from social media, Cody shares how attention is not just about productivity — it’s about presence, integrity, and self-trust.
An artist, writer, teacher, and dancer, Cody teaches us attention is the currency of our lives – and that most of us are spending it without realizing it. Dr. Dan and Cody urge listeners to remember that attention shapes not just what we see but who we become. They challenge us to reclaim our time and focus so life feels like it belongs to us again.
LINKS & RESOURCES
Cody Cook-Parrott
Website — codycookparrott.com
Book: The Practice of Attention: Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World
Newsletter — Free weekly (Mondays)
Podcast: Common Shapes (on hiatus)
Analog newsletter: Prompts — Writing prompts for journaling practice
Books & Concepts Referenced
Holly Whitaker — Quit Like a Woman (New York Times bestselling author)
12-step recovery — "Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today"
How to Not Always Be Working — Cody's first book
Key Concepts
Attention is your life force — Every scroll, click, and "quick check" adds up; where attention goes, life follows
The system is working as designed — Social platforms are engineered for engagement, refresh cycles, and "just one more scroll"
Attention audit — Observe where time actually goes vs. where you think it goes (like a spending audit)
Abstinence vs harm reduction — Different models for addressing addiction and technology use
Anti-perfectionism — Core practice of letting go of perfectionism; doing things imperfectly as a beginning entry point
Swallow the frog — Do the most uncomfortable, easiest task first to create freedom and spaciousness
Avoidance is anxiety's best friend — Every time we avoid something we're anxious about, it reinforces the fear
Acceptance and surrender — Active, grounded choices (not passive or weak); create space, clarity, and wise action
Attention is relationship — Not just what we focus on, but how we relate to the world
GUEST BIO
Cody Cook-Parrott is a queer, non-binary writer, artist, movement practitioner, and dedicated quilter who lives in northern Michigan. They are the author of six books, including the new The Practice of Attention: Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World. Their focus is attention, creative ecosystems, and research — building scaffolding for steady growth online and off. Cody teaches through improvisation, anti-perfectionism, and honoring the individual journey. Nearly 15 years sober from alcohol and currently off social media, Cody brings lived experience with ADHD, creative practice, and recovery to conversations about presence, integrity, and self-trust. They send a free weekly newsletter every Monday and an analog newsletter called Prompts for journaling practice.
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