Jill Bialosky — acclaimed poet, novelist, and author of The End Is the Beginning — shares how writing her mother's life backwards became a profound act of healing, preservation, and discovery. Unable to be with her mother as she died during COVID lockdown (funeral viewed via FaceTime, only 10 people allowed graveside), Jill wrote a reverse-chronological memoir that begins with Alzheimer's decline and ends with childhood joy — bringing her mother back to life on the page. She explores guilt and responsibility (caring for aging parent while raising family), generational trauma (mother lost her own mother at age 8, never talked about it), how historical context shaped women born in 1933, and how reading and writing build empathy for complex human experience. Jill unpacks the lessons her mother taught about joy, kindness, and choosing to smile even when sad, why even with Alzheimer's the person is still there, and how new beginnings emerge from endings — including her own release from years of worry and the gift of remembering her mother fully alive.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
Why reverse-chronological storytelling can be healing — writing mother's life from end (Alzheimer's) to beginning (childhood) brought her back to life; walking backwards deepens understanding
How to process grief through writing and preservation — unable to be with mother at death (COVID lockdown), writing became way to preserve legacy, make sense of loss
What generational trauma looks like — mother lost her own mother at age 8, never talked about it; unprocessed grief passes down, shapes parenting and identity
How to navigate guilt of caring for aging parents — balance responsibility to people you love with responsibility to yourself; "Am I doing enough?" is universal question
Why reading and writing build empathy — novels and poetry teach us to feel complex emotions, connect with human experience, process loss and grief
How historical context shapes women's lives — mother born 1933, expected to marry and have children; father's sudden death forced reinvention in era with few options
Why the person is still there with Alzheimer's — despite losing cognitive abilities, mother's spirit remained; finding ways to communicate and see her essence
How new beginnings emerge from endings — release from years of worry, freedom to remember mother as vibrant, active, happy; T.S. Eliot: "The end is where we start from"
LEARN MORE
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June 12, 2025
Jill Bialosky
The End is the Beginning: The Story of a Mother, From End to Beginning
"Even though somebody loses their cognitive abilities, the person is still there. My mother was always still there. I just had to find ways of communicating with her so that I could see her spirit that was still alive inside her."
TIMESTAMPS
00:03:24 – Why write mother's story — historical period for women born 1933; expected to marry, have children; father's death forced reinvention with limited options
00:04:47 – COVID lockdown and mother's death — unable to be with her, had to quarantine 14 days; funeral outside, only 10 people, viewed via FaceTime; difficult to process loss
00:06:10 – Reverse-chronological structure — starting at end (Alzheimer's decline), working backwards to beginning (childhood); bringing mother back to life; T.S. Eliot: "The end is where we start from"
00:12:04 – Uncovering the woman behind mother — who was she before we were born? Writing her younger years, full of life and possibility; spark that was dimmed by circumstances
00:28:11 – Depression vs grief — mother's era: tranquilizers to knock people out; now understand grief as natural response, depression as illness needing treatment; father's sudden death traumatic
00:30:38 – What mother taught about joy — setting table with linen napkins, kindness, smiling even when sad, love of cooking and hosting, dating even in 80s; choosing life
00:36:13 – Navigating guilt — caring for parent while raising family; guilt can keep you stuck; balance responsibility to others with responsibility to self; can't always do our best
00:39:25 – Generational trauma — mother lost her own mother at age 8 (scarlet fever, childbirth); family never talked about it; unprocessed loss shapes parenting, passes down
00:42:51 – Reading and writing as empathy — learning compassion through novels and poetry; processing emotions through art; connecting with universal human experience of loss
00:52:04 – New beginning after mother's death — release from years of worry about Alzheimer's; freedom to remember her vibrant, active, happy; person still there despite cognitive loss
SHOW NOTES
Dr. Dan invites back a favorite guest, author and poet Jill Bialosky, to talk about her new memoir The End Is the Beginning: A Personal History of My Mother.
Jill shares with Dr. Dan how the pandemic, the isolation of grief, and her mother’s decline due to Alzheimer’s inspired her to write this book as a way to preserve her mother’s life and legacy. Dan and Jill explore the complexities of parenthood and daughterhood, the weight of generational trauma, and much more. Their conversation reveals that healing can come through storytelling and sharing.
LINKS & RESOURCES
Jill Bialosky
Website — JillBialosky.com
Book — The End Is the Beginning (available at major outlets and Bookshop.com)
Previous works — History of a Suicide, Poetry Will Save Your Life, Asylum (poetry collection)
GUEST BIO
Jill Bialosky is the author of five acclaimed collections of poetry, including Asylum, and several novels, including The Deceptions. Her nonfiction works include History of a Suicide: My Sister's Unfinished Life and Poetry Will Save Your Life: A Memoir. Her latest book, The End Is the Beginning, is a tribute to her late mother told in reverse-chronological order. Jill's poems have appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Atlantic, and many other publications. In 2015, she was honored by the Poetry Society of America for her distinguished contribution to the field. She is an executive editor and vice president at W.W. Norton & Company, where she has edited and published award-winning authors for over 30 years. Jill lives in New York City.
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