Trigger warning: discussion of suicide
Danielle Elliott Smith — journalist, recovery advocate, and host of Hope Comes to Visit — joins Dr. Dan for a deeply moving conversation about addiction, grief, and the courage to ask for help. Now six years sober, Danielle shares the raw truth behind her journey: the text from her kids that said "too bad mom loves wine more than she loves us," the 30 days in Florida treatment that saved her life, and the profound loss of her partner Marty to relapse two years into their recovery. This conversation explores the thin line between "I don't want to live" and "I don't want to live like this," why addiction is a disease not a moral failing, how grief rearranges every relationship, what it means to be an empath who carries everyone's pain, and why the loudest noise is often the people who don't call because it's too hard for them. Danielle reveals how storytelling creates connection through shared experience, why peace matters more than happiness, and how asking for help — though the most painful thing she ever did — led her to say: "I am more me now than I have ever been before." This episode is for anyone struggling, anyone grieving, anyone who needs to hear that hope is never out of reach.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
How storytelling through shared experience creates connection — pain becomes bearable when it shifts from "mine" to "ours"
The critical difference between "I don't want to live" and "I don't want to live like this" — that distinction can change everything
Why addiction is a disease, not a moral failing — people who struggle with alcohol are in pain, not lacking willpower
How grief as "life interrupted" rearranges every relationship and why the loudest noise is those who don't call
What it means to be an empath — assuming everyone feels emotions the same way you do (they don't) and carrying everyone's pain
Why showing up matters more than saying the right thing — presence beats platitudes; just say something, even if imperfect
The shift from chasing happiness to cultivating peace — peace as the norm, joy as the delightful surprise
LEARN MORE
Get new episodes every Thursday
August 7, 2025
Danielle Elliott Smith
Hope Comes to Visit: Rising from Grief, Addiction, and the Will to Live
"Hope is an anchor of possibility. It's that little thread that we get to hang on that reminds us we shouldn't ever give up."
TIMESTAMPS
00:01:51 – Storytelling as connection: How shared experience transforms "my pain" into "our pain" and why vulnerability inspires others
00:03:19 – Origin of "Hope Comes to Visit": 6+ years sober, the text from her kids, 30 days in Florida, and celebrating milestones
00:08:26 – Life interrupted: Losing partner Marty to relapse and experiencing profound hopelessness to understand hope
00:09:08 – From hopelessness to hope: Had to experience the dark to be equipped to talk about the light
00:16:34 – Thin line between "I don't want to live" and "I don't want to live like this": The distinction that changes everything
00:21:54 – Compassion over judgment: Treating addiction as disease not moral failure; no one chooses to suffer
00:28:38 – ADHD manifestations: Different ways brains work and why curiosity beats judgment in understanding behavior
00:34:28 – Being an empath: Assuming everyone feels emotions the same way; not hiding sadness anymore; carrying others' pain
00:41:21 – Grief and showing up: The loudest noise is those who don't call; presence matters more than perfect words
00:51:37 – More me than ever: Inhabiting all of yourself; asking for help as bravest/most painful thing; the beauty on the other side
00:53:30 – Hope as anchor of possibility: The thread that keeps you going even when you can't see it
SHOW NOTES
In this emotionally powerful conversation, Dr. Dan speaks with Danielle Elliott Smith — author, advocate, coach, and host of the Hope Comes to Visit podcast. Danielle opens up about her raw and personal journey through addiction, sobriety, loss, and transformation. With unflinching honesty and grace, she shares the story behind her sobriety, the grief of losing a partner to relapse, and how choosing to ask for help saved her life.
This is a story of what happens when we stop hiding, embrace vulnerability, and choose to live fully — even when life feels impossible. Dr. Dan and Danielle talk about the thin line between “I don’t want to live” and “I don’t want to live like this” as well as how grief rearranges every relationship in your life and what it means to be an empath.Today’s episode is for anyone feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or on the verge of giving up. Danielle’s story reminds us that no matter how lost we feel, hope is never out of reach.
LINKS & RESOURCES
Danielle Elliott Smith
Website — DanielleElliottSmith.com
Podcast — Hope Comes to Visit (available on all platforms) — hopecomestovisit.com
Instagram — @danielleelliottsmith
Coaching — Redefining Sober (helping women redefine relationship with alcohol)
Retreats — Sovereign Collective (transformative retreats for breaking through barriers)
GUEST BIO
Danielle Elliott Smith is a journalist, recovery advocate, coach, and host of the Hope Comes to Visit podcast. With over six years of sobriety, Danielle helps women redefine their relationships with alcohol through her Redefining Sober coaching program and co-leads transformative retreats through Sovereign Collective, helping people find their wildness within and break through what's been holding them back. A former hard news reporter who once hid her empathy behind professional distance, Danielle now leads with radical honesty and vulnerability, creating connection through shared stories of addiction, grief, loss, and transformation. She is a mother of two college-aged children and lives in St. Louis.
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