Bonnie Jean Feldkamp — award-winning syndicated columnist — shares her courageous journey leaving the Louisville Courier Journal editor position in October 2024 to return to writing aligned with her values and purpose. Her therapist's wisdom proved prophetic: "When you feel out of sorts, it's because you're acting outside your values" — and her body kept the score with stress manifesting as weight gain, high blood pressure, and missed periods. She unpacks contempt vs connection, leading with curiosity, "what happened to you?" vs "what's wrong with you?", showing up in community beyond social media, and why focusing on the good expands it. Her goodbye column title: "Hatred doesn't need my help."
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
How living outside your values shows up in your body
Why "identify your values" matters
What contempt vs connection means
How to lead with curiosity instead of accusations
Why "what happened to you?" beats "what's wrong with you?"
How showing up in community creates real connection
What "hatred doesn't need my help" means
LEARN MORE
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April 24, 2025
Bonnie Jean Feldkamp
Holding Space for Good
"Identify your values. And when you feel yourself out of sorts, it's because you're acting outside of those values."
TIMESTAMPS
00:02:32 – Leaving the editor position
00:04:37 – Living outside your values
00:06:20 – Body keeps the score
00:22:46 – "Hell is meeting who you could have become"
00:24:12 – Contempt vs connection
00:27:36 – Leading with curiosity
00:34:30 – Everyone has a story
00:35:45 – "What happened to you?"
00:49:41 – Teaching kids meditation/observation
00:51:23 – "Hatred doesn't need my help"
SHOW NOTES
Dr. Dan interviews award-winning syndicated columnist, TEDx speaker, and author Bonnie Jean Feldkamp about her popular Creators column “Holding Space For Good” and how her journalism shows us how to find the good in our communities and ourselves.
On this deeply personal episode, Dr. Dan and Bonnie discuss her decision to leave a prestigious editorial position and commit to aligning her work with her values. Their conversation is real, raw, and a reminder that we can all find and hold the space for good – in our work, family, relationships. Dr. Dan and Bonnie also discuss self-worth, trauma, healing, and living our truth.
LINKS & RESOURCES
Bonnie Jean Feldkamp
Website — WriterBonnie.com (weekly newsletter, syndicated column, social media links)
TED Talk — "Contempt Versus Connection in Online Communication" (productive discourse, commentary with compassion)
Goodbye Column — "Hatred Doesn't Need My Help" (October 18, 2024)
Books Referenced
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk — Hallmark book on trauma and how body manifests stress
What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry — Conversations on trauma; premise is asking "what happened to you?" vs "what's wrong with you?"
Brené Brown's work — "What's the story you're telling yourself?" question for disconnecting negative voice and creating honest conversations
GUEST BIO
Bonnie Jean Feldkamp is an award-winning syndicated columnist published in newspapers across the US via Creator Syndicate. She has been writing, publishing, and mentoring writers for more than 20 years. Bonnie is the former community engagement and opinion editor for the Louisville Courier Journal, as well as former media director for the National Society of Newspaper Columnists (NSNC). Her TED Talk, "Contempt Versus Connection in Online Communication," aims to encourage productive discourse and foster commentary with compassion. In October 2024, Bonnie left her editor position to return to her purpose: lifting community voices and tying personal experience to current events to help readers empathize, relate, and care. Her goodbye column was titled "Hatred Doesn't Need My Help." Bonnie presents at conferences and universities on how to write effective op-eds and continues to mentor writers. She lives by the principle that when you feel out of sorts, it's because you're acting outside your values. Website: WriterBonnie.com
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